Faith Vs Fear Parenting


Did you know YOU are the best idea God had for your children? He didn’t get it wrong by putting you all together as a family; it wasn’t a mix up in heaven or a substitute in your family’s home delivery shop. Families were God’s original plan. You have nothing to fear!
“God is love… such love has no fear, because perfect love casts out all fear” 1 John 4 v 18

img_0650If you are a praying parent like myself you may have whispered under your breath ‘Dear God, please don’t let this happen’, ‘Dear God, will you make this situation go away’, ‘Oh my Lord, please please let this pass without any harm’.
Maybe, like me, you’ve spoken eloquently worded worry filled monologues and you’re calling them prayers. Many times no actual spiritual change took place, you were just convinced your worries were better because you verbalised them.
I am a cheerleader for praying protection over my tribe, parenting safe and with boundaries – BUT I am wholly committed that prayers and actions come from a place of faith and not fear.
We should pray in a way that comes from a place of assurance – that the God we love will respond in love!
God says “When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.” Jeremiah 29 v 11 (MSG)

I have learnt to change the way I ask God for help. Instead of the “don’t”, “stop it!” and “fix it” prayers, I now ask Him to be creative & pray things like:

⁃ “God, open up opportunities!”
⁃ “Lord, help them find what they need!”
⁃ “Father, make a way where there seems to be no way!”
⁃ “God, help me be better at channeling the gifts you have placed inside of them!”

One day in the park, I found myself joining in the “Don’t!” Mum chorus. You may have sung it yourself. “Don’t climb too high!”, “Come down from there’, “Don’t bounce too close to the edge!”, “Don’t swing too high!”, “Don’t go backwards up the slide(Lol)”. I was taken aback by the collective, fearful sound that we were all making – there was so much negativity & fear being released over these kids!

In that moment, I decided to be a Mum that shouts “Climb higher!”, “Let’s make a fire!”, “Let’s build a den!”, “Let’s go & find the best trees for climbing!”, “Show me your best somersaults on the trampoline!!! BOUNCE HIGHER!!!!!!”
And instead  I turned my “don’t” song into “how to” coaching – how to climb, how to fall well, how to come safely back down what you just climbed up, even mastering the essential skill of how to swat a wasp & fix a nettle sting.

Instead of teaching our children to fear challenges, we can to teach them how to live in the wide open space of God’s love and equip them to face the many challenges life brings.
Do you overthink & worry who they will meet, how they might eat, what teacher will they have, who they will date, will anyone notice them or understand what makes them tick?

I have many times convinced myself that these questions and my actions were protection, but many times fear was my driver.
If we show our children fearful ways they will live with fearful ways. BUT if we show our children a faith filled way they will live a faith filled way.
Let’s model a confidence to them that WE know who holds tomorrow, and a confidence to face the challenges of the everyday.

‭‭At home let’s commit together that they will be spoken to in love, filled up in faith and trained to live in hope for the future.

“This is God’s word on the subject: “I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”Jeremiah‬ ‭29 v 10-12‬ ‭(MSG)‬‬


It’s never too late to change from a way fear to a way of faith. Why not do it today?!
Clare X

9 thoughts on “Faith Vs Fear Parenting

  1. robbieharvie says:

    Great read Clare. Not wordy and to the point. Spot on.
    I love the ‘how to’ thought. Kids will probably do it anyway so it’s best to teach them to do it properly and safely rather than them giving it a go when you aren’t there.

    I love a good blog. 👍


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