Before you are ready, your kids are ready to talk about SEX!
Talking about sex to children is not straightforward!
Each child is different. All 3 of mine became curious around 8. Sadly we never got the text-book ‘I rocked explaining sex to my children’ moment, but we did have a laugh trying…
1st time Casually on a Saturday afternoon I decide to broach THE topic only to look to the passenger seat to find my no 1 child’s ears covered, shaking their head furiously; it’s not time, please don’t tell me, NO NO NO!!!! This one learnt everything from a textbook.
2nd time It was bedtime, quiet house; I thought ” I got this!” My angle: emotion-feelings-action; why ‘two’ fall in love and become intimate. No 2 child only wanted to know what actually happened and what ‘words’ were okay to use. I had the perfect speech worked out too, it would have been GREAT; instead, low key, very functional.
3rd time I was ready, I’d learnt from earlier attempts. This was to be my perfect ‘sex talk’, my moment…no 3 child would talk about this for generations to come; BUT our breeding rabbits, joined with watching a friend on ‘One Born Every Minute’, & BOOM everything fell into place. A quick glance my way & a ‘Mum, you told me the rabbits were cuddling!?’ and from then on every time we were alone questions were asked and revealing answers given.
In hindsight it worked out right for each one of them.
Here’s what I am confident will help – talk about the body, male & female, periods & puberty, differences, what makes a man and a woman. Give your kids enough info to grow up educated.
Celebrate male and female. Call things as they are – avoid ONLY using alternative names for private areas. Our kids grew up knowing the anatomical titles (much to my amusement and sometimes other parent’s horror).
“God created human beings; he created them godlike, reflecting God’s nature. He created them male and female. God blessed them: “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! ”” Genesis 1:26-28 (MSG)
Choose to talk about sex naturally as questions are asked, and not answer what isn’t asked, talk about making love, intercourse, birds and bees – whatever you call it – and why people love it, why it’s a brilliant way of two humans becoming one, why God intended this union for pleasure AND for the making of babies & that He intended you to find love, marry and enjoy sex with that one person and grow old together.
You might not feel able to talk freely, but I would encourage you, don’t leave it too late, speak about your family values, or the world around them will.
My tribe is older now and in a later blog I will share how we talk about sex and sexuality to our tween and teens.
But for now I hope you pluck up the courage and have a laugh, maybe you have the perfect SEX talk – please do let me know!